To all of you, i wish you a happy valentines day! I hope you got a good and happy relationship with the partner of your dreams.
You can talk about such a great feeling of love, you can write poems, songs and you can tell everything you know about it. But sometimes all you need to do is to do something right without wanting something in return. This can mean more than a thousand words, physical contact like hugging for example. This releases a chemical called Oxytocin, Oxytocin is the feeling of love, trust, friendship and all the warm fuzzies, it’s all the unicorns and rainbows. It is the reason we like to spend time with our friends, girlfriend/boyfriend or family, even if we don’t do anything with them we just sit and watch TV we love their company. Oxytocin is that intense feeling of safety that someone’s got your back. This is also why shaking hands matters, imagine you’re meeting a girl/boy for the first time from an online dating site or something. You are going to meet in a beautiful not too expansive restaurant. Your date comes in, you stand up, you stick out your hand and say: “hey, nice to finally meet you, I’m so excited to get to know you better” and than he/she goes: “yeah, nice to meet you too. How are you doing?” sits down and doesn’t even look at your hand. Or your date comes in walks towards you, without thinking he shakes your hand and says: “yeah, nice to meet you too, How are you doing?” Exact same words, exactly the same tone, and exactly the same person. which would make you feel better, the one who shakes your hand right? but relationships are not rational. They’re about feeling safe, they’re about feeling that we belong, it’s human and one of the ways we want to know that our relationship is solidified is with physical touch. Human bonds matter, Another way you can get oxytocin is through an act of human generosity. An act of human generosity is defined as giving of your time and energy and expecting nothing in return. Money DOESN’T work sorry. If I bought you an expansive valentines card which looks beautiful, with printed on a poem about how much I love you. Or I spent time and energy to create a self-made ugly ass but lovely valentines card with the exact same poem handwritten. Again which would make you feel better? The self-made handwritten valentines card. The value of the card much less than the paid one, I could have made a dozen of these cards. You see as human beings we put a premium on time because it is an equal commodity and it is a non-redeemable commodity. You spend money, you make money. You spent time, you never get it back. Some of you reading this right now will say/think: “I will never get this time back”, Then I got nothing for you. What I want to say is that spending time and energy in your relationship will do so much more than spending money in your relationship.
If you want to get your relationship to the next level spend less money and more time in each other, but give each other space and time to rest on difficult and hard days. Listen to each other give each the time to talk about their day.
I want to wish you all a happy valentines day!